William’s Rules of Order for Late Night Assemblies

The original idea for the first post was to start off with a review of some of the good places to go in San Marcos but then I came to a sudden realization. It would be irresponsible of me to send people out into a world without first informing them of the do’s and don’ts of the night. The change of heart came about when I read an article in the New York times entitled “The New Math On Campus”. The article discusses the nights out of Sorority girls at the University of North Carolina, that often involve no men due to their female population of about 60%, and their struggle to snag a hubby.

Now you may ask what does that have to do with our little university on the hill top? The answer is: Everything! The article presents many similarities to Texas State and not only in its ratio. This same attitude of husband hunting exists and causes the same problem on our campus. However, don’t let the article mislead you. There behavior is problematic and counterproductive. For the more feminists readers don’t be upset just yet either, because the male behavior is just as deplorable. This post is not to bash women, the article just happened to have a female perspective. The problem is equally on both ends. In order to save my fellow San Martians from late night heartbreak, I’m prepared to give some tips that I like to call William’s Rules of Order for Late Night assemblies, based on the problems I see in this article.

1.Actions should match with your wants

First and foremost, girls never ever act like these women and men need steer clear of them. First off male or female it is a shallow thing to go out in “tight fitting tops” just to pick up men. Not to mention when you go out  just to pick someone up, whether you be male or female, you are terribly misguided. One women from the article, Jayne Dallas, threw out half the male population without giving any reasoning as to why she wouldn’t consider them. As well, the writer claims that these women are “paying a social price” by allowing men more control in relationships and “are being victimized.” This is a large misnomer ladies. In any relationship or encounter the control is always split 50/50. If a man doesn’t respect your boundaries or thoughts you are better off without him. You are no victim when you are allow him to do it to you. If you go around dressing in almost nothing, or take the lead of the one girl who decided to grind on a random stranger, then of course you wont be called the next morning. When you do these things you send men a message that says you will take almost anyone, and they will treat the situation as such. (side note: Women beware though of how much control you try and take as well. Make sure what you are expecting is reasonable)

2. Men this imbalance does not mean you will be like Antonio Banderas at a mommy and me club.

In fact according to Miss Dallas(which I know from first hand experience many San Marcos women would agree) you have to be in the top of the datable half of the male population. Chances are you don’t even qualify. Patrick Hopper explained it best when he was quoted saying “it still doesn’t change the fact of guys sitting around bemoaning their single status…it’ s just like highschool but the women are even more enchanting and beautiful.” When you go out don’t desperately try to pick up women in hopes that one out of the many will take the bait. It’s not a numbers game. At least be semi interested in the women you take home. If you do have the ability to do so, for the love of all that is holy do it responsibly otherwise you are just as shallow.

3. It is in the best interest of both genders to beware of who you take home.

Not just for the fact of rampant STDs in today’s society, but for the fact of who you are taking home may have different ideas in the direction the encounter will head in the morning. This is not exclusive to women either. Women are very capable of random hookups just as well as men. This could also lead to violation of rule 1 in that going home with someone on a random encounter shows them that you don’t take the encounter seriously. Do as you feel is necessary, but with consideration to your long term goals not just short term gain. Being so impulsive in order to gain long term benefits is short sighted to say the least

4. Don’t over analyze.

Sometimes a text is just a text. Do not analyze every character or word of a message from members of the opposite sex. Men you are not exempt you do it sometimes too. Whether you are male or female you should  avoid being like the women sitting around collaborating “trying to figure out what punctuation to use in a text message” its just plain scary. No one likes to be over analyzed and its simply a turn off for anyone.

5. You still have your life ahead of you.

Don’t be so focused on who you are with for the here and now. No one likes the person who sits around and bemoans being single. Be yourself and you’ll find that more people will be attracted to that rather than someone who feels the need to impress someone. Every rule leads to this simple fact: making this rule the most important. Put on all the tight fitting tops you want, or apply an unhealthy dose of Axe body spray, it doesn’t matter. It’s still a facade that people will always see through. Go out, have drinks with friends, and don’t worry until you see someone worth pursuing. Who knows maybe someone will persue you.

These rules will help just about anyone have a good time when they go out at night. Even if you aren’t convinced just try them out for a few months and see how it goes. Now that the rules are out of the way I’ll see ya’ll on the square!